I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
