threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
