My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
