Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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