Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
