Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
