So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
