Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
