I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
