You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So much rum. So many feels.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
