Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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