I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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