He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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