So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
