did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
