i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
