I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
