recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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