Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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