I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
