Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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