i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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