He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
