im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
