i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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