It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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