I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
