i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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