no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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