You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Blood and glitter go together right?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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