you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
