Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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