they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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