So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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