Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
