I just pynch a tree in the face
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
