Can Purell be used as lube?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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