You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
