New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
