i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
