I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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