I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize