Whod you bang
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
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