I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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