Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
