I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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