I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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