I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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