Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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