I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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