My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
