I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Please don't give away my fajitas
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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