just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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