your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
