wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
