so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
