you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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