I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
