I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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