Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The power of my boobs compel you
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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