is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize